OOHHHHHH NOOOOOO!

Today the world sadly had to say goodbye to the shortened life of Randy Poffo (aka Randy "Macho Man" Savage). Growing up I was fascinated by the mountainous men who would climb in the ring and thrill a crowd with sheer power, aerobatics, and wit. The Macho Man is just the latest in the long line of wrestlers whose lives were cut short. Today, I dedicate this to the many grapplers who who went down for the three count well before their times.

BAM BAM BIGELOW

Bam Bam was one big ass mofo dressed in a flaming leotard. With his bald, tattooed head and the mean look in his eye, he could wear anything he wanted.

EDDIE GUERRERO

One of the many Guerreros but by far the most entertaining. With his high flying antics of WCW to his Latino Heat days in WWE, he showed his true craziness, not through his unbelievable death defying leaps, but when he tried to win Chyna's affections. No Mamacita, no!

ROAD WARRIOR HAWK

With Animal at his side, the Road Warriors were the greatest tag team of my youth. My first memories of watching wrestling involve the Road Warriors kicking some major ass from atop a large scaffold above the ring. I bet it's easy to kick ass when you got an inverse mohowk and you did it on purpose.

CURT HENNIG
Mr. Perfect could do anything perfect, especially piss you off with his perfect heel comments. Dressed like a Olympian and an ego much bigger than king god Zeus himself, he forced me to strive not to be perfect.


OWEN HART


Not quite as popular as his Hitman brother, Owen first caught my attention as the Blue Blazer. Although he was a mid-card performer, his aerobatic feats drew me into a world of agile leaps and demonic speed. Although I was not as large of a fan when he wrestled under his real name, it was the Blue Blazer that took his life. Who was that masked man? He was a performer who never got over the way that he should have.


RICK RUDE

Quite possibly one of my favorite heels of all time. He could work a crowd like no other during his time. With a swivel of his hips and a kiss of the lips, he could prove that all you loud mouth, thunder thighed, flabby ass cows wanted him.


It's a shame that so many wrestlers die before their time. Maybe it's the hits. Maybe it's the falls. Maybe it's the hard road life. Of course, if you want to find the Fountain of Youth for a wrestler, get a snake. It's charm seems to have worked for Jake Roberts who would have been first on my dead pool yet is still kicking.

I Have Returned (Just In Time For the Rapture)

As many of you have probably heard, the Rapture is scheduled to take place this Saturday, May 21st unless Christ calls in sick. As a firm believer in disbelieving, I have decided to believe to not believe in this. But just in case I'm wrong, I've decided to throw out the five things I plan on doing before Christ comes to leave me behind. Let's call it my Rapture Bucket List.

NUMBER 1 - Time it just right to shoot a stream of pee through an drive-thru window at Taco Bell just as they open it. I figure they've given me the shits enough, so I'd give them something back before it's too late.

NUMBER 2 - Take off my shoes and run through a salad bar (we really don't have grass here in the desert, so it was the closest thing I could find).

NUMBER 3 - Take my mortgage money and bet it on 00 on a roulette board. It's not like I'll need to pay it next month anyway.

NUMBER 4 - Make an assertive effort to call every Wong in China.

NUMBER 5 - Tell my wife that I love her, and then see if she wants to get some hookers and blow.

FROM THE FLAMES

My first novel was released in April. It is the story of a demon who escapes the clutches of Hell to find unexpected feelings once on earth.

It can be bought through Amazon, Fictionwise, or the publisher's website. Go to the link for ordering information.

http://wings-press.com/Bookstore/From%20The%20Flames.htm

Put On a Happy Face

I find that it's hard to be upbeat and contribute a ton to this blog. Let's face it. I have four followers, and ONE IS ME! Another is my wife who I know never reads this, and the other two are friends who probably never read this. That's why I am lackadaisical about the whole thing. If anyone actually does read this without my knowledge, then e-mail me at basans@live.com and let me know. Otherwise, I'll be going dark unless I have something important to say.







OH, AND BUY MY NOVEL, FROM THE FLAMES, WHICH COMES OUT APRIL 1ST FROM WINGS E-PRESS!

Catch a Tiger by the Toe

This week Tiger Woods issued an apology for his extramarital affairs that have sparked widespread gossip and speculation concerning the extent of his infidelities. During his public apology he stated, "I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to." Later he went on to admit, "I was wrong. I was foolish." We have heard this same apology time and time again from public figures and why? BECAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT! Tiger isn't sorry about his indiscretions. He's sorry the world (and more importantly his wife) found out about them. We've heard this same plead for forgiveness from politicians, religious leaders, movie stars, and a bevy of other famous figures. What I want to see for a change is one of these guys to come out and say, "Yeah I did it, and I'm going to do it again! There's just too much fine ass women in the world for me and my money to let get by." I understand that the underlying fact is that most of these men apologize because of the dollars attached to the apology, but Tiger Woods truly does have enough money to just come out and say what he wants to say. Sure he'll lose endorsements. Sure he'll probably be kicked out the PGA. Sure his wife will leave him, but wouldn't that be more entertaining than the predictable outcome of the heartfelt apology to the public and the ones he "loves". If he really loved his wife, he wouldn't be out there sticking his cock in anything that moved. Of course his mom would forgive him, and he would be free to continue shagging the masses. Now that he has apologized, we as the spectators to this multi performer (sometimes porn performing) circus are going to have to stand back and be bombarded with advertisements that are aimed at forgiving the billion dollar golf star. We're going to see news stories about his recovery and how he has beaten the sickness of sexual addition (still one of the funniest damn things I ever heard as what guy isn't addicted to sex). This is NOT what I want to see. I want to see originality. I don't want to hear about a comeback (no pun intended) story or how he beat the odds to reform his ways. Since I want to see ads that fall along the lines of Tiger standing up for his deeds because his money does make him above the realm of the moral standard, I have decided to come up with a few ads or tag lines for that reality.

AND FINALLY,

I have a new website

I recently set up a new website to promote my writing. Check it out.

http://basans.sixserve.com

As for updating this blog, I've been busy with other writing but plan to start writing here again real soon.

B. A. Sans - Published Author

Yours truly is now published in an anthology which also includes short stories by incredible horror geniuses like Ramsay Campbell and Simon Clark called And Now the Nightmare Begins: the Horror Zine. This book can be purchased at Amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/Now-Nightmare-Begins-Horror-Zine/dp/1593933568/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261745752&sr=1-1.

But that's not all. As of yesterday I also signed a contract with Wings ePress for the publication of my first published novel, a paranormal romance entitled From the Flames about a demon, Andras, who escapes from Hell after a treaty between God and Satan is agreed upon that doesn't allow divine influence on mankind anymore. Once on earth, he meets a young woman with whom he feels a strange attraction toward. As he fights his emotional urges and tries to figure out what the feelings mean, his old minion, Flauros, is sent by Lucifer to retrieve him at all costs.

Although Retirement Park was the first novel I wrote, From the Flames is the first one that is going to be published. The manuscript for Retirement Park was requested by a different publisher a couple months ago, and I'm awaiting new of its status. Possibly very soon I will have two novels in the stages of being published. From the Flames is due out by Wings ePress in April 2010.

Now I'm going to be reworking the first children's novel I wrote entitled The Royal Ceederonian, and I'll begin writing I vs. IVF: A Tedious Journey which is going to be about my wife's and my real life experiences in trying to have another child.