Catch a Tiger by the Toe

This week Tiger Woods issued an apology for his extramarital affairs that have sparked widespread gossip and speculation concerning the extent of his infidelities. During his public apology he stated, "I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to." Later he went on to admit, "I was wrong. I was foolish." We have heard this same apology time and time again from public figures and why? BECAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT! Tiger isn't sorry about his indiscretions. He's sorry the world (and more importantly his wife) found out about them. We've heard this same plead for forgiveness from politicians, religious leaders, movie stars, and a bevy of other famous figures. What I want to see for a change is one of these guys to come out and say, "Yeah I did it, and I'm going to do it again! There's just too much fine ass women in the world for me and my money to let get by." I understand that the underlying fact is that most of these men apologize because of the dollars attached to the apology, but Tiger Woods truly does have enough money to just come out and say what he wants to say. Sure he'll lose endorsements. Sure he'll probably be kicked out the PGA. Sure his wife will leave him, but wouldn't that be more entertaining than the predictable outcome of the heartfelt apology to the public and the ones he "loves". If he really loved his wife, he wouldn't be out there sticking his cock in anything that moved. Of course his mom would forgive him, and he would be free to continue shagging the masses. Now that he has apologized, we as the spectators to this multi performer (sometimes porn performing) circus are going to have to stand back and be bombarded with advertisements that are aimed at forgiving the billion dollar golf star. We're going to see news stories about his recovery and how he has beaten the sickness of sexual addition (still one of the funniest damn things I ever heard as what guy isn't addicted to sex). This is NOT what I want to see. I want to see originality. I don't want to hear about a comeback (no pun intended) story or how he beat the odds to reform his ways. Since I want to see ads that fall along the lines of Tiger standing up for his deeds because his money does make him above the realm of the moral standard, I have decided to come up with a few ads or tag lines for that reality.

AND FINALLY,