OOHHHHHH NOOOOOO!

Today the world sadly had to say goodbye to the shortened life of Randy Poffo (aka Randy "Macho Man" Savage). Growing up I was fascinated by the mountainous men who would climb in the ring and thrill a crowd with sheer power, aerobatics, and wit. The Macho Man is just the latest in the long line of wrestlers whose lives were cut short. Today, I dedicate this to the many grapplers who who went down for the three count well before their times.

BAM BAM BIGELOW

Bam Bam was one big ass mofo dressed in a flaming leotard. With his bald, tattooed head and the mean look in his eye, he could wear anything he wanted.

EDDIE GUERRERO

One of the many Guerreros but by far the most entertaining. With his high flying antics of WCW to his Latino Heat days in WWE, he showed his true craziness, not through his unbelievable death defying leaps, but when he tried to win Chyna's affections. No Mamacita, no!

ROAD WARRIOR HAWK

With Animal at his side, the Road Warriors were the greatest tag team of my youth. My first memories of watching wrestling involve the Road Warriors kicking some major ass from atop a large scaffold above the ring. I bet it's easy to kick ass when you got an inverse mohowk and you did it on purpose.

CURT HENNIG
Mr. Perfect could do anything perfect, especially piss you off with his perfect heel comments. Dressed like a Olympian and an ego much bigger than king god Zeus himself, he forced me to strive not to be perfect.


OWEN HART


Not quite as popular as his Hitman brother, Owen first caught my attention as the Blue Blazer. Although he was a mid-card performer, his aerobatic feats drew me into a world of agile leaps and demonic speed. Although I was not as large of a fan when he wrestled under his real name, it was the Blue Blazer that took his life. Who was that masked man? He was a performer who never got over the way that he should have.


RICK RUDE

Quite possibly one of my favorite heels of all time. He could work a crowd like no other during his time. With a swivel of his hips and a kiss of the lips, he could prove that all you loud mouth, thunder thighed, flabby ass cows wanted him.


It's a shame that so many wrestlers die before their time. Maybe it's the hits. Maybe it's the falls. Maybe it's the hard road life. Of course, if you want to find the Fountain of Youth for a wrestler, get a snake. It's charm seems to have worked for Jake Roberts who would have been first on my dead pool yet is still kicking.