As many of you have probably heard, the Rapture is scheduled to take place this Saturday, May 21st unless Christ calls in sick. As a firm believer in disbelieving, I have decided to believe to not believe in this. But just in case I'm wrong, I've decided to throw out the five things I plan on doing before Christ comes to leave me behind. Let's call it my Rapture Bucket List.
NUMBER 1 - Time it just right to shoot a stream of pee through an drive-thru window at Taco Bell just as they open it. I figure they've given me the shits enough, so I'd give them something back before it's too late.
NUMBER 1 - Time it just right to shoot a stream of pee through an drive-thru window at Taco Bell just as they open it. I figure they've given me the shits enough, so I'd give them something back before it's too late.
NUMBER 2 - Take off my shoes and run through a salad bar (we really don't have grass here in the desert, so it was the closest thing I could find).
NUMBER 3 - Take my mortgage money and bet it on 00 on a roulette board. It's not like I'll need to pay it next month anyway.
NUMBER 4 - Make an assertive effort to call every Wong in China.
NUMBER 5 - Tell my wife that I love her, and then see if she wants to get some hookers and blow.
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