Catch a Tiger by the Toe

This week Tiger Woods issued an apology for his extramarital affairs that have sparked widespread gossip and speculation concerning the extent of his infidelities. During his public apology he stated, "I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to." Later he went on to admit, "I was wrong. I was foolish." We have heard this same apology time and time again from public figures and why? BECAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT! Tiger isn't sorry about his indiscretions. He's sorry the world (and more importantly his wife) found out about them. We've heard this same plead for forgiveness from politicians, religious leaders, movie stars, and a bevy of other famous figures. What I want to see for a change is one of these guys to come out and say, "Yeah I did it, and I'm going to do it again! There's just too much fine ass women in the world for me and my money to let get by." I understand that the underlying fact is that most of these men apologize because of the dollars attached to the apology, but Tiger Woods truly does have enough money to just come out and say what he wants to say. Sure he'll lose endorsements. Sure he'll probably be kicked out the PGA. Sure his wife will leave him, but wouldn't that be more entertaining than the predictable outcome of the heartfelt apology to the public and the ones he "loves". If he really loved his wife, he wouldn't be out there sticking his cock in anything that moved. Of course his mom would forgive him, and he would be free to continue shagging the masses. Now that he has apologized, we as the spectators to this multi performer (sometimes porn performing) circus are going to have to stand back and be bombarded with advertisements that are aimed at forgiving the billion dollar golf star. We're going to see news stories about his recovery and how he has beaten the sickness of sexual addition (still one of the funniest damn things I ever heard as what guy isn't addicted to sex). This is NOT what I want to see. I want to see originality. I don't want to hear about a comeback (no pun intended) story or how he beat the odds to reform his ways. Since I want to see ads that fall along the lines of Tiger standing up for his deeds because his money does make him above the realm of the moral standard, I have decided to come up with a few ads or tag lines for that reality.

AND FINALLY,

I have a new website

I recently set up a new website to promote my writing. Check it out.

http://basans.sixserve.com

As for updating this blog, I've been busy with other writing but plan to start writing here again real soon.

B. A. Sans - Published Author

Yours truly is now published in an anthology which also includes short stories by incredible horror geniuses like Ramsay Campbell and Simon Clark called And Now the Nightmare Begins: the Horror Zine. This book can be purchased at Amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/Now-Nightmare-Begins-Horror-Zine/dp/1593933568/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261745752&sr=1-1.

But that's not all. As of yesterday I also signed a contract with Wings ePress for the publication of my first published novel, a paranormal romance entitled From the Flames about a demon, Andras, who escapes from Hell after a treaty between God and Satan is agreed upon that doesn't allow divine influence on mankind anymore. Once on earth, he meets a young woman with whom he feels a strange attraction toward. As he fights his emotional urges and tries to figure out what the feelings mean, his old minion, Flauros, is sent by Lucifer to retrieve him at all costs.

Although Retirement Park was the first novel I wrote, From the Flames is the first one that is going to be published. The manuscript for Retirement Park was requested by a different publisher a couple months ago, and I'm awaiting new of its status. Possibly very soon I will have two novels in the stages of being published. From the Flames is due out by Wings ePress in April 2010.

Now I'm going to be reworking the first children's novel I wrote entitled The Royal Ceederonian, and I'll begin writing I vs. IVF: A Tedious Journey which is going to be about my wife's and my real life experiences in trying to have another child.

Reality Show Mania

It's amazing the crap that TV producers will package and sell to networks. It's even more amazing that people watch this junk. First came the fad of reality TV shows such as Survivor and Big Brother. These eventually spawned reality TV networks such as FOX Reality and TruTV. Just a few minutes ago, I saw a commercial for a reality show about Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel. The commercial glorified all the aspects of reality TV gold: a unique landscape, people acting like spoiled toddlers, and of course, scantily clad women.

Since other people can come up with great ideas for stupid reality TV shows and make money, why can't I? I have an idea for a show called, Public Restrooms. The premise is the documentaton of how people treat restrooms, what they do in there, and how they react to noisy and smelly depositors. I figure if their going to put crap on TV, why not make it literal.

Questions I've Always Wondered

How come God's country isn't in the United Nations? Does he not want peace for mankind?

If they add braille to drive up ATM's, why doesn't McDonalds do the same thing to their drive thru menu?

If humans are so evolved, why are we the only creature that has to wipe our asses?

If getting a vasectomy is called getting fixed, why isn't having a baby called going broke?

If age makes you wise, what the hell happened here?





If prostitution is the world's oldest profession, how in the hell did guys make money to buy sex?



And finally...

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?

Absolutely Amazing!

You may have seen this heavily run scene from a recent Corona commercial. It is incredible! No, not the bikini clad beach blond who slides in a sultry fashion across the screen. Not the beautiful blue waves lovingly caressing the white sandy beach. It's incredible that the red headed guy is sitting in the sun without a shirt! His girl doesn't have to squeeze a lime at him. He'll get his, oh yes, he'll get his.

Even Refs Need to Wipe Their Balls from Time to Time

It's football time again, and there's nothing like the smell of barbeque lingering on a fall breeze, the deafening crack of a hard tackle, or the slight of hand performed by referees when they officiate a Patriots game.

Being a Raiders fan, I feel that refs have always made it a point to screw my team, but that was never so obvious as the infamous "Tuck Rule" which helped the Pats get to their first Super Bowl of this decade. Now it seems that these generous officials are at it again. Maybe they fear Bill Belichick. Whatever the case, the refs are caught in the act again. This time during the Monday night 2009 opener against the Buffalo Bills. It seems that the ref gave the Patriots a generous spot, and then decided it wasn't generous enough. He picks up the ball, pretends to wipe it, and places it a half yard farther down field. The chains were not even brought out.

Why aren't officials like this severely reprimanded for their crimes? Roger Goodell seems to crack down on misbehaving players. Maybe he should do the same for his officiating crews.

You can check out the video of this at www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxA95K5gP9s